tkd

tkd
1Q84 World. 5/2015

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Her high heels brushed the fallen leaves as she walked towards meHer hair was brown, straightened, and smooth as chocolate milk pouring into a glass. She looked as though she was in her late 20's, but her hair made her look younger. As she shuffled through the leaves, I felt my body cringe. Not physically, but mentally. Her fur coat was that of an animal. I couldn't tell exactly what kind, but I knew it was from some wild, exotic animal, preferably a bear of some sort. Her eyes glared around the park, like a survelleince camera, looking around the lonely, quiet park, it seemed.

Her appearance reminded me of a friend back in college in Japan. Her name, I couldn't remember. She always used to wear fur coats, zebra blazers, among other creative, hipster-like apparels. Her hair was brown, but she told me once that she died it; her natural color was plain black. She kept it brown for the entire four years of college. Interacting with her was very strange. We had a couple of classes together during the day, none of which we talked much. If we even did talk, it was just casual. Extremely casual. What's for lunch? What class do you have next? can I borrow your pen? sunny day outside isn't it? and the like. The conversation topic never went further than that. But on the inside, we were considered to be friends. Close friends. Whenever we were together, though, we never really acted as though we were.

She told me once during a typical lunch period that she didn't have any parents. She mostly grew up herself, learning about the life around her. We were eating donburi together at the university cafe, and she told me her experiences of being alone at such a young age. Her sister was enrolled in some community college up north near Akita, and her parents abandoned her when she was young. Exactly why, she couldn't remember, or, she just didn't want to tell.

Every weekend, wearing her hipster clothes, she'd take aimless strolls around the campus to adjust to her surroundings. After all, she felt that she wanted to observe others. Their presence would soothe her. A couple of male students wanted to hook up with her, but she would refuse, lying to them that she already had a boyfriend... me. Most of these men were also too wimpy for her. And even if they tried, they looked like nothing but fools, she would say.

The woman in the fur coat looked at me in the eye and decided to gently sit down next to me. About three feet away from me, she stared at something directly across from her, possibly a squirrel that was resting on a branch. Her woody fragrance floated around the secluded area. It smelled fine. Could this be my friend from college? I wanted to ask, but something about her made me hesitate. She crossed her legs, leaned back and nonchalantly glared around the park like a tourist observing Times Square. She then finally took a look at the box. The silent air suddenly got punctured by her soft, feminine, tone.
"A package?" she said.
"Yeah."
"What's in it?"
"I haven't a clue," I said. "I'm kind of having trouble opening it."
She brushed her hair back. "Who's it from?"
"Some woman named Asami, I think. That's what it said on the return address."
"Just her first name?"
"Yeah."
Her eyes stared right into mine. "Interesting."
The birds chirped and the wind swiveled its way towards us, brushing the woman's hair and my skin. With her fingertips, she gently stroked her hair out from her eyes.
"Do you know who Asami is?" she said, almost in a whisper.
I looked at the handwritten name on the box. "No," I said.
"Well why don't you take a guess."
With her legs still crossed, she put her elbow on her thigh and propped her chin on her hand and smirked at me, waiting for an answer, it seemed.
"Are you Asami?" I said.
"Well," she rolled her eyes. "what do you think?"
"Yes?"
She slightly nodded.
I re-positioned myself, resting one foot over my other thigh. "Okay, well," I didn't know where to start. "Let me get this straight. You were the one who called me earlier this morning, and told me to open this box without using anything but my very own hands, right?"
She uncrossed her legs and sat back with a short sigh while staring back at the squirrel. "Who else in the world would order you to do such a thing?"
I didn't know what to say.
"Say," she said, looking at me. "Have you tried opening the box yet?"
"Uh, yes, that's why I am here."
"You're here under the rules I gave you on the phone."
"Yes."
"How stupid."
"Hunh?"
She tried to look for the squirrel, but it wasn't there anymore. "You follow an order from someone who is a complete stranger to you."
"Well, I mean, the way you spoke was very convincing and the demand just made me curious as hell."
"Can't you ever make your own decisions in life and stop taking orders from people?" she said.
"I do."
"Then explain why you are grasping that box right now."
"Because I am extremely curious as to what is inside this thing."
"It's a jewelry box that contains a note describing what I just said."
"Which is?"
"'Can't you ever make your own decisions in life and stop taking orders from people.' What did you think it was?"
"I dunno, some kind of chain letter or something." I said.
"Mister the more you think about these bizarre things, the more you start to lose yourself in reality." She said, locating the squirrel running down the tree branch.
"Tell me about it."
"The way you live is totally up to your instincts. But the more you accept anonymous and/or mysterious orders, phone calls, whatever, your life may get obscured."
"Okay wait a minute here. Slow down with your philosophical ideals. You're confusing me. I need some clarification. First I get a phone call from you telling me to open the box. So I claim the box and head outside on this spot, and attempt to open it, however it is so ridiculously taped together that it's nearly impossible to open it without using any scissors or something. Then I actually see you here. I mean, how the hell do you know where I am? Am I being controlled by you? What's the meaning of all this?"
She gave up staring at the squirrel and stared at the tree branch. "You're not being controlled; rather, you are controlling yourself, like all of us do. We control ourselves; we know what's right and what's wrong. Our superego tells us the wrongdoings of life, and serves as the moral compass. Everyone should have that when they become adults. In a way, our minds hesitate on the things we experience that are foreign to us, or, things that are mysterious to us, like the phone call I gave you. It's all a matter of how you control your instincts, and how you deal with them. You just happened to deal with the situation the wrong way. It's as if you just let a stranger in your home. What if he was a serial killer? Sure, you might say that you can beat him up, but your mind would be too shocked to fight. Our reaction time slows down the more we are surprised or shocked. Are you with me on all of this?"
"Yes, I understand all of this, but how did you find me here?"
"Mere luck, I guess."
"No really. Don't you have some special GPS tracker or some type of gadget that spies on people?"
"Nothing."
"Don't you ha--"
"Nothing."
"And the things you said on the phone are actually not true, right? That you are affiliated with any gang member or anything?"
"That is for you to guess and me to tell you whether you are wrong or right."
I tried to change the topic. "Where are you from?"
Sitting, she extended both her legs and stretched out her arms and sat back normally, her back straight as a models. "I am currently on a business trip."
"From where?"
"Tokyo."
"Positive?"
"How much positive can I get?"
"True."
This woman was tough to bear with. Sooner or later I had the feeling that she was going to break into my apartment. It was very possible after she knew where exactly I was in the park. It was as if we were positive and negative magnets. Really uncanny though, that she looked gorgeous.
"Do you want me to leave?" she said.
"No, you can stay."
She nodded.
"Just tell me, though," I said. "Out of all the people, why and how did you choose me?"
"Your name just stood up to me," she said. "I'm afraid I cannot tell you why."
"Ugh, you're such a pain."
"I try."
We sat in silence, taking in the park's ambiance.
"It must feel weird to you sitting next to a woman you hardly know at all," she said.
"Tell me about it."
"But you know, " she continued. "unless a person holds something special to you, you're never going to see that person again in your life... forever."
"How are you so sure?"
"It's just how life operates," she said. 
I sat there, plopped on the bench with the package resting on my thighs. For a while I thought about her remarks. She checked her watch, and moved as if she were about to leave. 
"Anyhoo, I have to get going soon," She shuffled her hand into her inner fur coat pocket and pulled out her business card. "This might come in handy."
There was nothing but her first name and a phone number.  Even her last name was anonymous. Black font, san-serif, white background. Bland, yet extremely helpful. After all, it is best to go for simplicity. 
"If there's anything you need to talk about, call this number," she said. 
"Thanks. Anything you say?"
"Yes, anything."
She got up and started to head her way back.
"Wait," I said. "What do you want me to do with this box now that you told me what's inside?"
She stared at me for a few seconds or two. "You have to think outside of it."
I nodded and turned away from her, trying to locate the squirrel she was looking at. A couple of minutes later, I looked back at the path and she was gone. 

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