What does it mean when a girl talks, flirts, and plays around with your friends except you? She either totally loathes me or likes me. Two very different possibilities.

Writing this as my roommate is eating a wrap completely filled with peanut butter.

I feel like I'm at that phase where the things I'm learning are forced and lead to nowhere. The readings, the handouts. All the dull pages of text that put me to sleep word after word. The what-am-I-learning type of feeling. Walking to class is always a pain especially from all the snow. Clumps of white ice blankets the entire road and sidewalks. Snow continues to fall endlessly. Expecting another storm on Thursday, and another one on Valentine's day weekend, according to my suitemate. I'm beginning to really hate snow.

Not much these days really motivate me. Classes are dull as ever. I take notes, listen, doze off, and leave when it ends. At random times I miss Japan and my home back in the city. I miss having real food. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm secluded, especially living on a suburban campus. Feel stuck, not much around. I have relatively the same type of food at the same dining hall. If I want to change my mood I can't really go anywhere beyond campus because there's really not much around. 

So it all comes down to the people. The friends. Usually I'm always the one to initiate, gather groups, and decide what to do. I gather my friends, regardless if they don't really know each other, and schedule something for all of us to do such as swimming, shopping at the mall, etc. Because in the end, what else is there to do? 

Every morning, I'd wake up around 9:45 and trek to the dining hall for breakfast. The time where the dining hall has nothing but bagels and cereal. Hot food such as scrambled eggs and bacon are served earlier but because I can't wake up that early, I just make do with my bagel and cereal. 

Shortly after I make my way to the library to review the stuff for my classes. If there's an upcoming test or quiz, well, then I study for that. Then class time, where all the students, in all directions, speed walk to their classes. 

I end class at 2:35 most days, and it's exactly the time when the dining halls close for hot food again. So then I have to make do with hamburgers, salad, and pasta-- something that even more brings me down. 

In the evenings everyday, I'm pretty much busy with taekwondo. It kind of gets me everytime. You feel like you're done for the day after going to all your classes, but nope, you still got taekwondo.