Friendship

There are many things that are bugging in my mind right now, wandering, looming, trapped, struggling to find an escape, like a butterfly in a cocoon. Of course one has to do with the fact that finals are coming up, but there is more than just that. In college, in addition to academics, friendship is just as important. Maintaining bonds and finding connections is key and without it, college won't be fun and as meaningful as it ought to be. It's important to be with the right ones. In my experience so far, as a 3rd year student, I've made friends by chance, if you will. Most of my friends are from taekwondo, and a few I've met through my other friends. Many of them are seniors, which means that they're all going to be graduating.

I've never really deliberately gone up to people and started to introduce myself. I guess I'm not that kind of person. But I've realized that I should start doing that because college is basically the only time in our lives to have this much fun where friends are just a walk away from each other. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll, as they call it. A time of fun, trial and tribulations, trying out new things, being independent, seeing life in a different view.

What keeps this going is friendship. And one of the factors that keep friendship going is trust. And if you break the trust, then it halts, breaks, snaps. Once you break, say, a plate, it can never really be fixed in its original form. The crack still exists, and its smooth, glazed texture is no longer. Today, that happened.

Don't tell me you're going to show up if you're not actually going to show up.

A few days ago my friend texted me that he will attend the final taekwondo class of the semester, specifically writing that he will show up. And, tonight, he didn't. No message, no apology, nothing.

What a joke.

Again, don't tell me you're going to show up if you're not actually going to freaking show up. It's something that irks me tremendously.

Anyways...


Now, switching gears, it's somewhat stressful talking to a person in their second language. No matter how you look at it, they're always most comfortable talking in their native tongue. When they speak in their native tongue, they can express their opinions with more fluency without much difficulty. Thus when you're speaking with them in their second language, it always seems artificial and not pure, no offense.

I've had a crush on a Korean international student, and her English isn't bad at all. But she seems to better understand and have more fun with my friend who is Korean as well.

I mentioned it in my previous post as well. It's as if there's two sides. Although there is that one side of the lid, I feel like I haven't been able to open it yet and see the other side of the lid.

Anyway, let's transition to the next topic. Exit this door and enter the next.


I'm the type of person who doesn't want to let go of things. Once it's in my possession, I can't release it. It's been an ongoing trait in me since childhood. I can't donate old toys and clothes so easily because I see in each of them a distinctness as if they're individuals with souls. I guess I'm with Andy on this one. 

Even in relationships, once I'm in one, I try to make it last for a long time. I don't give up. My feelings don't change so fast. 

It's hard to find someone who agrees. But it's college. Young relationships are spontaneous.

"Honestly are you expecting us to get married?" I recalled someone saying.