Say, hey, how's tricks? Welcome back to the town's one and only hit music radio station! Today we have a lucky guest with us today and he is standing by right now. Hey, how are you doing today?
"Sleepy," I said.
Indeed it's pretty early in the morning, eh? Let's see uhh...
3:24 a.m.
Ah of course nobody as young as 15 or as old as 80 would be up am I right? Only you, uhh... are you a student?
"You got it."
"College student?"
"Uh-huh."
"Say can we get your name?"
"Stu."
"Last name?"
"Dent."
"Stu Dent.. wait a.... HA..HA.. HA... we got a comedian in the house! Say you must be the class clown. Are ya?"
"No."
"Have you done something similar?"
"What do you mean."
"Can ya make people laugh easily?"
"I try."
"Can you als--"
"Hunh?"
ACHOO!
"Bless you," I said.
"Thank ya! Anyway uh, so you try hunh?"
"Well now that you've mentioned it I've done some slapstick."
"Ahhhhh yes, slapstick? Have you? Must be painful."
"I find ways to avoid injuring myself."
"Can we get some more details?"
"Hunh?"
"When did you do slapstick?"
"..."
"Helloooo there?"
"I do it a lot to toddlers and children because it makes them laugh."
"So you're essentially saying that getting hurt is funny to kids."
"Based on my observations, yes."
"Hen you yisu!"
"How's that again?"
"Never mind. It's uhh, muy interesante."
I had nothing to say.
"Anyhoo, so you're in college?" he asked.
"Yes."
Ahh, college. You get to spend some of the best days of your life in college. Can't live it twice. Can only live it once, unless you force yourself into some community college somewhere when you're 40 but who'd be stupid enough to do that? Ha.. ha.. ha. Besides, it's nice to be young. Anyway, it's great to have you here thanks for stopping by and giving your time to be here it sure means a lot to us.
"Yeah, sure."
Aaaannnd lets see here we have our guest here today in the hushed a.m. hours such a rarity ain't it, Betsy? Oh what was that? Right, they'd usually hang up on us no less than a snap of a finger, ha... ha... ha. So uhh, let's just begin and ask our college student some questions we've got so uhh let's begin. So let's start with the basics. What are you studying?
"English."
Woah... now that's a rarity.
"Not really.."
So what do you want to be when you grow up then a teacher? Or some librarian?
"Haven't really thought of those."
Well so why'd ya pick such a major?
"I like to write and read."
Well ya hear that folks? he likes to read and write. expect this kid to write a novel or something ha... ha... ha we will never know. gots a long way to go, eh? where's that novel?
"Might be right up your alley."
"Ha.... ha.... ha... anyway lets switch gears."
"What's something you've been seeing a lot in campus that you're kind of jealous or feeling envious about ehh? Could be anything just something off the top of your head. Give it a thought, eh."
I thought about this real hard, and it was hard especially because it was late in the night and the only incentive for me to actually pick up a phone was to see whether it was some girl I exchanged numbers with. Instead I got sucked into a late-night radio show. I would've hung up minutes ago but I stayed on the line just for the hell of it. It was a Saturday night going into an early Sunday morning. I had just finished studying and reading so nothing special was on my agenda but sleep.
"Couples," I said.
"Couples was it?"
"Yes."
"Well what about them eh?"
"I'm all fine and cool about it, and I'm sure every single person feels the same way, but I guess I get kind of jealous when I see them. How they seem so happy together. It's cute but at the same time it makes me feel a bit lonely."
"Ahhhh love is in the air."
"Looming somewhere beyond my vision."
"What a poet. Ha...ha... ha. Love is all over the place. Just gotta breathe the right air eh. You can't inhale, say, carbon monoxide or asbestos ha.... ha.... ha, am I right because that stuff will just ugh. Ka-bloosh and you're dead. Instead you gotta inhale the pleasing aroma of hmmm how about strawberries or fresh baked cookies or some fresh linen ehh? How do you feel when you pull things out of the laundry and boom that smell of fresh clean clothes and linen hmmm it's great. Oh, such greatness."
"I guess," I was beginning to feel annoyed.
"And out of the uh.... how many students are there in your university?"
"Roughly 16,000."
"Well holy shmokes. Out of the 16,000 students in ya school ya can't find even one person ya like to get to know?"
"There were a few, but turns out they were already taken. So I guess you could put it that way. I'm just doing my own things at my own pace."
"Well ya gotta speed up the process. Ya gotta go up first. Don't wait ehhh.. Or else ya just gonna end up delayin' your chances. Plus it's college and it's greatest time for fun. Don't make yourself regret things. Live it up in college. Because who cares? What is there to lose?"
"Sure."
He had a point, but I was too sluggish to reply. I began to wonder how many people actually listened to this minor radio station.
"Not so much of a talker are ya?"
"I say things when I need to say them."
"Woah... you go kid. Anyhoo lets see here so youre an english major and single. How are ya classes?"
"Fine. Midterms week so it's kind of a nuisance."
"You'll do well it's all a matter of time management ehh."
I nodded, but seeing how that didn't register through phone, I replied with a flat "yes".
"Well I guess that's all we have for you today. Thanks for tuning in with us today... errr I mean tonight! er... uhh, the early morning!"
"Yeah sure. Four more seconds and I'd pass out so you got me at a good time."
"HA... ha.. ha alright dude. Thanks for tuning in. You have helped our listeners believe that they aren't the only ones up! That even college students like you are still up going about their own lives. Gives them a little motivation, no?"
"Mhm."
I hung up the phone, redialed a number. It was the girl I happened to exchange numbers with earlier. I had met her at the library. She was thumbing through a Japanese textbook right next to me. She seemed to be struggling to decipher the material so I thought it would be nice for me to help, if possible. She was wearing a white oversized Obey hoodie, tight navy denims, and a pair of red New Balance shoes. Her hair was straight and black, bangs pinned up. Little to no makeup.
Surely it wasn't the best time to call her at this hour but I gave it a shot. Perhaps she was a night owl. And besides, I couldn't believe I was citing from that darn radio host but, what's there to lose?
It took five rings for her to miraculously pick up.
"Hello..?"
"It's me," I said. "So you are a night owl."
"Not really. I've just been studying for my psychology test. What gives?"
"I'm sorry. Caught you at a bad time. Let me hang up, I'll talk to--"
"No, it's totally fine, I'm kidding," she giggled. "My test isn't until Tuesday and I needed a break anyway."
"Sure bout it?"
"Yeap." There was a brief lull. "So what makes you call me at a time like this? Nightmare or something? Did you dream about me?"
"Close," I said.
"Oh really?"
"No."
"Psh."
I laughed. "I don't know. I just felt like calling you. On a whim, like taking a sip of hot tea that's on your desk. You don't drink it because you're thirsty. You just take a sip out of it because you feel like it."
"Seems understandable."
I paused. "But I guess I wanted to also hear your voice. The sense of actually talking to you. It's soothing. Gives out a satisfying aura. I can't explain it."
"Aw, well that just made my night."
From the other side of the line I heard her shutting the textbook and shoving all her handouts and notes aside.
"Are you sleepy?" I asked.
"Had a lot of coffee so I'm actually still feeling alive and kicking."
"Good. Same here, minus the coffee and the feeling alive and kicking part."
She laughed. A beautiful little laugh. "Then we aren't in the same page, dummy. Why don't you go to sleep."
"I'm just in the mood for some wings. I don't know why, I'm really craving them."
"Sadly I think they just closed."
I lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I held the conversation in silence for a good few seconds.
"You there?" she said.
"Yeah."
"Is somebody getting sleepy?"
"Tell me a bedtime story."
She laughed. I sensed her brushing her hair aside from her face. "Once upon a time a guy called a girl during the middle of the night, telling her he was craving wings. The end."
I laughed. "What a weirdo that guy."
"Right?"
Crickets cried outside but that was all the sound there was. The room itself was devoid of any tone. There wasn't even a clock to produce the ticking from the secondhand. My roommate was long-gone, tucked in cozily in his sheets. It was approaching 4. Under the dim light, I began to notice my body slowly powering down, preparing itself for a good sleep.
"Hey, before I pass out, and now that I've got you on the line, can I ask?"
"Fire away, mister."
"You wouldn't mind getting some wings with me tomorrow would you?"
She giggled. "You would choose wings. But sure, I'd love to. I'm free all afternoon."
"That's wonderful. Let's devour those wings."
"Why wings again?"
"I don't know. I thought I could stand to change my habits of eating at the dining hall."
"Fair enough. So I guess you could finish off the bedtime story."
"Finish it for me."
"Once upon a time a guy called a girl during the middle of the night, telling her he was craving wings. He invited her to eat wings with him for the next day. She was delighted, and was looking forward to their little upcoming rendezvous. Both were happy. And then they were finally able to sleep through the night. The end."
And before I knew it, I went into a deep sleep. And, before I knew it, I was going to eat wings with a girl.
Analysis/moral of the story: Don't ignore or be prejudiced towards people. They might give you some good advice or ideas that may be of use to you in the long run.
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