A whirlwind is happening in my mind. I don't know what happened today. It all seemed fine when we were watching the movie and eating the sandwich at the park. But it happened right after that, as if we were flicking a light switch from off to on. I stood there, for a good thirty minutes or so at her door since she left. Passersby looked at me with an air of suspicion, but I remained there, hoping her to return. But no luck. Upstairs, in her apartment that I have never been able to visit, she was thinking and reflecting about wise money spending, then eventually about us and how she was afraid and sad and hurt.

But all I could say is to think of the present, right now. Because you can never predict the outcome for these situations.

There was nothing else.

I'm just in confused state, I don't know where it's taking me. My heart is pounding. From money to parents to us, the very Eve and Jay. The conversations we had. Lots of things are jumbled together forming into a clumped tumor that's growing out of me. Deformed in shape.

I just gotta say that what we do together, B, is all worth my time. You are such an important figure in my life. I want to show you around to new places, places you've never been to before in your life and introduce you to things you've never done, seen, eaten, anything. You show me your world and I show you mine. Experience things together in a positive state of mind without much thoughts about the future or the past. Keep the bond and connection of love alive. We shouldn't dwell on certain issues because that just hinders our relationship. It reminds us of bad thoughts and bad possible outcomes. And bad predictions. The what-if's start to come, and linger around us like the moon orbiting around earth. I love you a lot. I just hope that we figure this out soon. And I hope we continue to be the Eve and Jay we pictured to be.