The last post of the year. 2012 was a great year for me. I've done so much: the year where i got to see Madama Butterfly (Placido Domingo the conductor), L'arc en ciel world tour concert, help out for a congresswoman for 4 months, and make new friends. Most importantly, this was the year where I made the transition from high school to college. Thank you 2012. I have been able to learn and experience so much.

And now 2013 awaits....

Happy New Year!

Kim Kardashian preggo LOLLL.

"Who are your parents?"
"Oh, Kim and Kanye"

....

My friends seem to need some help from me. LOL. Am I really the one to seek advice from?

Anyways, so far I currently play the role as a college counselor and a relationship guru.....

yyoyoyo

Merry Christmas!!!
メリークリスマス！！

Post-final exams

DONE WITH FINALS.

HOMEBOUND... like, in a few days.

Finals week

I was thirsty and had a final to study for and my suitemate next door was utterly distracting so I figured it would be nice to go to the library, fill up my water bottle there (because there isn't any other water fountain), and study in peace. But as soon as I walked in, and I mean SECONDS after I walked in, the fire alarm went on and we all had to evacuate in the rain............ Really now? So figuring that it would be a waste of time to wait, I headed back to my room. I pulled out a dollar to get a bottle of water from the vending machine but the freaking vending machine accepts NONE of my dollars. I am left with no drink and wasted a good 15 minutes........ I am thirsty af. I have a right to say,

FML

College Life 4

"Already?" she said.
"That's right," I replied. "My roommate left and is transferring to another school next semester."
"So you're all alone now hunh."
"I guess for now."
She half-smiled.
"The roommate that loved everything Disney related and ritually watched an episode of Friends on repeat every time he slept."
"And now he is not there," she said.
"And now he is not there," I repeated her words.
"Don't worry," she put her hand over mine. "I'll be there for youuu!!"
"Funny. That's already stuck in my head."
"Why don't you give it a listen? His TV is gone you know!" she playfully remarked.

Back in the dorm I worked on my take home final, intently working on the essay portions. On the speaker system I played Nishino Kana's I'll Be There and imagined the girl I had lunch with earlier sing the song. Somehow it was pleasing to the senses.

"A certain type of perfection can only be realized through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect."

ルームメイトが転校。

明日（まぁ、今日）ルームメイトが寮から出ます。そして他の大学に転校します。

人魚がめちゃ好きな不思議な男、ようおもしろかったよ、この学期。ぜんぜん一緒どこにもいかなかった事がちょっと残念だけどな。俺、他の友達ともっと知り合ったよ。。。けどな、けっこうルームメイトはおもしろい。あいつ寝るときいつも自分のテレビで「FRIENDS」のDVDをながします。かなり面白いやつだw。

「お前飽きねーの？いつも同じ番組を見て。。。」僕が言った。
「うん。。？ぜんぜん。」って答えた。

このスイートの８人、６人になります。一人は学期が始まったばかりの時大学からドロップアウトしました。僕のルームメイト出たあと僕の部屋一人です。新しい人が新学期ころに移動するかも。

ま、いってら。

The Tae Kwon Do club in my college held its first meeting tonight and discussed the possible plans for next semester. I was deemed mainly responsible for managing the club in an acceptable fashion. As the club president I helped bring up ideas and a general agenda for the club. The majority of the club right now consists of mostly faculty members and/or college graduates. Enough though I am a freshman, I am expected to lead this club and take it wherever I feel. So many things to doooo.

 

友達の寮にちょっと遊びに行ってけっこうつまんない話をしました。４人の女性用たちは全部大学２年生だからすこしアップした寮に住んでいます。


期末試験の時やから図書館が２４時間開いています。俺は友達と勉強をしました。俺は期末試験は全部来週。二人の友達は最初の試験が明日。やからあいつら朝まで勉強する予定です。

試験勉強僕ももうじきしないとな。。

あっ、朝の４時半か。。。

WHHYYY do almost none of the dryers in the laundry room work... all they do is barely heat my wet clothes. This sucks.

Pic of the day

Sparring match 12/8/2012. Airborne. Congrats to Kevin for his black belt.

Got that holiday spirit goin onn

promotion test n all

TKD promotion test. Congrats for their achievements!

ok anyway below is a random selfie with my
work-suckssss-but-just-gotta-stay-positive-and-finish-stronggg face.

中国語の勉強

Studyin' Chinese
我现在学中文。
中国語の勉強です。かなりながい宿題／クイズだよ。

But the interesting thing is that there is a word that has pretty much the same pronunciation in Japanese, Korean, and Chinese..

准备－Zhunbei (Chinese)

準備ーJunbi (Japanese)

준비-- Junbi (Korean) 

And they all mean to prepare. 

ohh snapp thats so cooool

１Q８４のプログレス

一年以上たっていますが、人気小説家、村上春樹の「１Q８４」をまだ読み終えません。他の勉強のせいでのんびりして読む時間がありません。いちおうデスクにおいてます。けっこう厚い本ですよね、これ。

アメリカに発売した時、（２０１１年１０月）僕は急いで本屋に行って買ったのに。。笑。まだbook 3のはじめのところです。

#workin' #whycan'ttheholidayseasoncomealready

大学に入ってからあったようですが、僕は気づいてなかった。こちらのスナップルのグリーン茶です。けっこうおいしい飲み物です。

そして。。。まぁ、壁にコーラのサインの横にパイの実の袋を貼ってしまった。日本おやつ僕のトップ３にはいってるからな。Don't judge...

Chinese conversation i made on the fly again

好久不见，你好吗！！！
我狠好。你呢？
我也不错。你这个星期有时间吗？
一点点。有事儿吗？
我想一起聊天。明天我们去星巴克咖啡吧！
对不起。明天我很忙。我有一个开会。
后天呢？
我后天也很忙。我请我妹妹的朋友吃晚饭。
那你什么时候有空？
我星期四下午有空。但是你有学校，对不对？
对。。。那我们这个周末见面，怎么样？我们晚上去看电影。
太好了。我想去看外国电影。
没问题。
我很高兴！！
要是你方便我到你的家去，好吗？
好啊！！我在家等你。谢谢你。
别客气。我给你打电话。

did i improveeee??? LOL.

short short stories n' events

Actually had a nightmare about a guy with a very large chainsaw cutting down my door to my room, trying to get in. It stopped there...
___



Last night the three of us were walking on our way back to the dorm. She notices a Santa poster taped on some student's dorm window.
"Hey look, Santa!" she said.
I look up towards the sky. "Where?"
"Did you really just look up?"
LOL

Finals are in the upcoming weeks ahead as I begin to become more and more scared. I grab my backpack, reply to a few messages, and get ready to go to my three hour afternoon class. In this class are a mix of students, some of them being upperclassmen as well as a few senior citizens who casually have interest in this field. Senior citizens, of course, do not need to take any tests or complete any papers as they already have been there and done that.

There is an interesting blend here, I thought. 

I come back to my dorm and overhear one of my suite mates talking about making love with a girl on a silk comforter. Yeah this is college alright. 

Thanks to a friend, Sistar19's Ma Boy is stuck in my head. That song is hotttt.


Every now and then I help out a senior in HS with her college application process. She sends me drafts of her essays as I proofread them and give her some short feedback. In other words, I am her counselor ahahaaaa. 

College Life 3: The Moon's Presence

On a lonely evening after my evening class, I walk across the campus and gaze at the full, spherical moon sitting atop the clear nighttime sky. Taking in its round shape, I sit on the stone platform, curl my knees up to me chest and continue to stare at the moon. I am at the lawn, a place where students could hang out with their friends and play a wide variety of sports and hold events. Tonight there is nobody as I sat here. The space is devoid of any sound but the faint cry of the crickets and the passing of cars in the distance. The surrounding lights from the lampposts remind me of the closeness of the holiday season and, if I look at it in another way, I see them as tiny white beads. The moon gives out a strong shine throughout the sky as the hidden clouds leisurely drift away.

The atmosphere of this tranquil setting is gently halted by my sensing of someone's presence. I receive a tap on the shoulder as I look behind and it is the girl from last time. The brightness of the moon purely shines her face.

"Hi," she says. "Why are you all alone?"
I look at her and back at the moon. "I'm taking in the moon and its spherical wonderfulness."
She chuckles and sits next to me, her woody fragrance tagging along with her flesh. "Have you never seen a full moon before?"
"As if I never actually did," I say, still looking at the moon.
She quickly looks at me as if evaluating my figure and says, "You're hilarious, Sean. Looking so amazed just by the moon."
"Well there isn't a time where I can see one this clear."
"You little city boy," she teases.
She rests her head on my shoulder. Although far away, I could still feel her heartbeat. No matter how far away things are from us, they still feel closer than they really are, I say in my mind.
"How far away do you think that moon is from us," she says, as if she just read my mind.
I sit there and ponder. "Many, many miles away from us."
"Yet close enough that we can actually still see it in our very own eyes," she finishes off.
I nod.
"I find this interesting, Sean," she says, "that the moon actually seems so close to us. I feel like I can take a plane and fly there in a few minutes."
"Few minutes?" I question. "It's one of those moon illusions."
"It's one of those moon illusions," she repeats my words.
She readjusts herself yet still has her head gently resting on my shoulder.
"It's so far away," she blurts.
"Yeah it's not a side mirror."
"Hunh?"
"Objects are not closer than they appear."
She laughs. "Sometimes I don't get you."
I look at her and smile.

Back in campus... 寮帰った

Back in campus.
Thanksgiving break seemed so short.
UGHHH back to realityyyy, not like it never was reality before.
Nibbling on some Pie No Mi (one of my favorite Japanese snacks) while listening to Sinatra's You Make Me Feel So Young, I am back on my desk, working....

Have to read an O'Brien novel that I already read back in 10th grade. This became one of my favorite books. Now I gotta read it again by tomorrow. You know sometimes there are those books where you just do not want to analyze and just let it sink in you. The Things They Carried is one of them.

If you haven't read it yet you should. It's gripping. After digging through my books from high school I found my copy of the paperback with annotations and underlines marked with a pen. Here was one of the lines I underlined:

"Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can't remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story" (O'Brien).

シナトラの曲をきいてパイの実を食いながら勉強してます。寮に帰ってきました。サラダでも買いにいこうかな。。。めちゃめんどうくさいけど。

Eyy Black Friday.
Went to some stores and came across some good deals. Clothes and electronics I've been interested in buying were all mostly 40-60% off. Today only. Ahhh should I buy them, I thought. But nahh, I already stocked up on some clothes the day before Black Friday. Mad crowded today; couldn't even move at one point.

So much work ahead of me. Gotta read some books, write final essays, analyze an interview, and prepare slides for a presentation. It's time to put my time management skills to use. Hah. You know it's ironic because one of the papers I have to write is about time management.

Oh my gahh. Ciao Bella's matcha green tea gelato is so gooood.

Thanksgiving

Ahh it's so late. Thanksgiving pics laterrr. For now, here:

Cannot listen to the radio any longer because it plays the same songs literally on freaking repeat. I mean, they are catchy and quite good but if it gets played constantly I'm pretty sure it would annoy the hell out of people. It's always Swift's Never Ever Getting Back Together, Bieber's Beauty and a Beat, Maroon 5's One More Night, and repeat... literally.

But hey, that's what FM radios are for.

BLEH.

Anyhoo, I came back home for Thanksgiving. Man I need a haircut.

One of the lightbulbs for the lamp went out.

UGH

Essays

UGH

Ruffles cheddar sour cream chips.

YUMMM

Yeah I recommend these chips. So good.

ラッフルズのチェダーサワークリームめちゃうめーで！おすすめっす。チェダーとサワークリームがちょうど良くまじっててさわやかな味がします。みなさんも試してみましょう！

写真逆だけどw

The power came back minutes before it got dark thank you Con Edison. But the internet didn't work for a few hours.

UGH

Then I went to go do my laundry but the dryer didn't dry my clothes. Tried another dryer and it STILL didn't dry them. I was  so pissed, I just gave up and hung em up to dry.

UGH.

A random pic I took when there was no internet. 

No power on campus as of now... That's just wonderful.........

-__- they better have this fixed by nightfall....

Describe you college life, Seany part 2.

       I thought that the hours passed by every second as I am eating at the dining hall alone. Around me students are eating their food, some with a group, some as a couple, and some just alone. I am sitting with my salad and a glass of apple juice on the rocks. As nobody else really ate at the corresponding time as me, I am usually alone when eating dinner. Solitary as I am, I grab the solitary silverware, stab a solitary tomato and chew it while staring at the solitary chair in front of me. 

       I glance at my watch and it is half past 10 in the evening. Staff are cleaning the vacant tables and chairs. Munching on my salad I think about this small campus and how it exposes me from the urban life. Trees, grass, fields, rich-looking houses adjacent to the campus. Although the college is a couple miles away from a small town, it still does not compare to the city that never sleeps. 

       I was eating with an international student one day at the campus Starbucks. 

       "There really isn't anything to do in this campus," she said.

       I nodded in agreement. "The college is constructed in a way that only lets students study… and nothing else."

       "I really like the city."

       "I do too."

       She took a sip of her coffee as I sat there recollecting the city's rush paced environment. 

       My half-eaten salad is on the table. More and more students are starting to disappear from the food court. Right then, at a random moment, I think about the summer. Playing until the late night in the town where I called my home. Though that time has passed and it was time to look forward. 

       I decide that I could not eat. Though I feel that I need a light snack. I grab a bag of chips from the court and pay the cashier. Shortly I feel a weak tap on my shoulder behind me, a tap that lacked confidence. 

       "Hi," the girl says. 

       The face is a familiar one. "How's tricks?"

       In her hand is a sandwich and a cup of fountain soda. "Ehh, nothing. What are you up to?"

       "Nothing in particular."

       "Lame," she says with a smirk. "Eat with me you lazy bum."

       She stares at my bag of chips. "What the heck that's your dinner?"

       "I ate already," I say. 

       "Well too bad. You're still accompanying me."

       Aside from us, there is nobody who eats this late. Perhaps we are known as the late night feasters. I direct her to a table, a different one from where I sat. She is wearing an oversized gray hoodie with Adidas gym shorts. Her hair is tied back into a ponytail. We sit down at a table as she immediately starts to munch down her ham sandwich at a rapid pace.
       "Hungry?"
       "Skipped lunch," she says as she continues to eat away.
       I never saw a girl eat this fast before, I say in my mind as I stare at her.
       She wipes her mouth with a napkin and takes a sip from her fountain soda. "Hey," she says out of the blue. "If you were a bird where would you fly first?"
       I widen my eyes in wonder. "What?"
       "If you were a bird and had the ability to fly, where would you go first?"
       I really don't know yet she stares at me as if expecting an answer. Facing the inevitable, I say,
       "I would fly around the city and enjoy viewing the skyline as if I was the king of the world."
       "Lame!" she blurts.
       "Where would you go, huh?"
       With her sandwich in her  hand, she says, "I would go beyond the city and fly as far away as possible, up and away from the world. Join the stars as I stare at Earth as if I was the princess of the world. You aren't the king no more are you?"
       She giggles. I smile as I think to myself how there are so many creative people here. 

Describe your college life, Seany.

天候がちょうど良くなりました。t−シャツで外で歩けるくらいあったかいですね。このあいだ雪がふったのってありえないっす。

Lately I have not been able to write extended narratives or just little stories here on this blog as much, as some of you have noticed. The time I spend here has become much less as my workload is getting intense. Yet then again, I try my best to follow a routine schedule. As most of my classes start in the top of the morning, I wake up to my alarm clock about fifteen minutes before class. I stretch, chug down some water if there is any, wash my face, change, and pack my bookbag with the necessary notebooks and textbooks.

I am usually greeted with the chilly morning wind when I am walking to class. A five to ten minute walk, I often take in the ambiance of the fresh morning. Crows, from a distance, caw as they soar through the sky. There I am taking a big yawn while appreciating nature's existence.

The campus has a little food court and I usually grab myself a cup of coffee and a small muffin to start off my day. The number of students at the place usually depends on the time. I tend to come around the peak time.

I try to have an equal balance between being alone and being with somebody. Sometimes I walk to class with my roommate and sometimes, I bump into some of my classmates, suite mates, and/or friends. There is always at least one person I stumble upon when I am walking around campus and we usually greet each other with a simple hi, or something a little more to that. Sometimes, whether I am in my dorm or just totally out of the blue, messages come to me with a friendly 'let's grab some grub' or something similar.

One night I was eating with one of my suite mates.

"You know what I just realized?" I said, as I was eating a bowl of tossed salad.
"Fire away," he said.
"I just realized that I was hungry."
He gave me a blank expression, almost as if he was being sarcastic. "No way, you're not serious."
After all I did eat some pretty bad tasting fish some minutes before I ate this pretty great tasting tossed salad that I made myself. Fresh salad with sliced tomatoes, onions, black olives, cheese, and ranch dressing. I didn't feel hungry when I was eating the fish.
"Don't you find it interesting?" I said.
"What?"
"That people realize they are hungry when they are eating food that they find delicious."
"... and not food that they find yucky?"
"Yes," I laughed. "Our hunger probably temporarily stops when we eat food we don't find delectable. I guess that's just how it works."
He took a sip of his water, "Means we gotta eat wisely."
"Yeah," I said, as I took a bite out of my tomato.



A significant number of students smoke as they usually linger on the steps outside near the entrance to the building in which I live. I usually walk right past them as I do not even care the slightest about them.

I'm pretty on top with my classes, relatively above average. I take a wide variety of classes as my mind is fraught with curiosity. Obviously I receive a lot of work and my late evenings are usually spent in the library. I try to be as productive as I can be, avoiding the widely practiced ritual of procrastination. Once I come back to my dorm, or, as I should say, suite, I am usually the last one still awake. I take a quick shower, change into my PJs, turn off the lights, and make sure the doors are locked. I'm usually responsible for the late night hours of the suite. Before I sleep I usually spend my time on the computer either chatting with friends  or just casually surfing around. Occasionally I feast on a late night snack. When I decide to call it a day, I shut off my desk lamp, go to my bed, take a quick glance at the stars subtly sitting atop the sky in the twilight hours, and go to sleep. So the days go.

It was a Saturday night and I figured that it would be a good idea to start reading a 170 pg. book I had to finish by Monday. After reading one chapter, my freaking friends came over to bother me.

It was not until 4 am that they decided to finally leave.

 So frustrating.

Now I gotta read all this in one day.

I woke up the next day around 7am and looked out the window. It was bright outside yet not too bright. I mistakenly thought it was dusk instead of dawn, and I was confused for a few seconds, minutes.

It took me a while to figure out that it was dawn.

And then again at this time it starts to get dark around 5pm. So what in the world was I thinking....


All of the snow now melted because the temperature is around the low 60s.

２０１０年。面白い写真を見つけたぜ。EXILEのATSUSHIのまね。。。かな？

Tiny snowflakes clump together and dwell on a wide open field.

Snowww

First snowww of the school year. Forgot to bring snow boots, gloves, and a hat. #fail

雪がふってきました。雪国。グローブやスノーブーツやぼうしはもってきてないです。はははは

#4moreyears. Obama!!!


Also, the assemblywoman who I have been volunteering for 7 months also won the general election.

A good day it is.

ghost game

Stayed at a friend's dorm late last night playing the game, Ghost. Basically it is a game where a person says any letter and the next person has to try and think of a word and add another letter. Then the next person continues and adds on. And the loser is determined when the word is spelled out. The first three letter do not count. For example, if a person starts out with B, the other person says A, and the third person says N, and the fourth person says D, the fourth person is out since that spells the word BAND. That person thus earns the letter G from ghost. It's similar to horse. If the player earns all the letters of 'ghost', then they are out of the game.

We played that for like... 3-4 hours.

AND I WON!!
guess i'm a genius. LOL

hurricane aftermath

Back in campus and I see this tree knocked down after the hurricane. Next to it is a pair of random boxers just chilling in the middle of the street. Weird.

But still, residents are currently having a problem finding gas for their car. Transportation is still very limited and it is very inconvenient.

ハリケーンのせいでこの木が割れました。そして道路に誰かのパンツがありますw

Some hurricane aftermath pics

LOL the boxers

パンツが道路に。。。（笑）

The Crane collapsed

クレーンも折れました。

No bread LOL

スーパにもパンがぜんぜん無えー

No meat either LOL

お肉もw

Most schools are closed for the rest of the week due to the hurricane. A lot of ppl constantly update their statuses and brag about the fact that they have no school. Oh the joy and blah blah

YEAH WE GET IT ALREADY

Meanwhile I got school bright and early in the morning. Gotta wake up at 5am tmrw in order to get back to campus. Wonderful....

The Arrival

It was a rainy Saturday evening and I was standing, holding onto one of the poles in the train. I was home bound after being warned about an impending tropical storm. Seats were all occupied with groups of men and women. Some couples, some just friends. I stood there staring at the passing scenery while casually listening to my music.

Outside the sky was cloudy, yet the full moon was vivid enough that it shone the entire nighttime sky. The white, spherical circle, looming around Earth as if a lonely child in a lost world. Droplets of water were running down the window as the wind slammed the misty rain against it. No doubt it was raining. No doubt it was cloudy. Yet the moon was still visible in the far away distance.

The train approached its last stop. As the doors opened, I stepped out and walked along the platform to the exit. Passengers with their bags all heading towards the same direction. Right then my ipod was playing Miles Davis' I Waited For You.

"I waited for you, too" I said, clueless to whom it was directed to.

Food and stuff.

東アジア中間試験の結果がきましたね。そしてかなり上手くできました＾＾
今日は洗濯、そして本を買わないと。

大学のテコンドークラスです。僕が会長です。

I give the members of the Tae Kwon Do class in college my congratulations for achieving their rank as 9th Gup.

As stated in one of my previous posts, I have been chosen to become the president of the Tae Kwon Do club in my college. Although considered both the newest addition and the youngest, I plan to keep the club in good shape and develop ideas instrumental to the community. Because the club is slightly lacking in size, I delivered a brief speech to the current Tae Kwon Do class (above) to consider joining the club. By joining the club, they will have a much deeper understanding of Tae Kwon Do. With the opportunity to train with distinguished  black belts, they will learn a wide variety of drills and techniques from one-steps to even competitive match sparring. With rigorous training, I plan to assemble a demonstration team so they can exhibit both what they have learned and the art of the sport to the college community as well as other local institutions. Right now I feel as though the club is emphasizing a lot on the drills that is slightly separate from the sport and is heavily influenced on martial arts similar of its kind such as judo and hapkido. While this is certainly beneficial in that one can have a much wider understanding of martial arts in general, I feel that it is also important to focus more on Tae Kwon Do. I feel that we need more discipline-- that is, pad drills, fast paced workouts, and the like. With this in mind I feel the club members will become better acquainted with and improve their practice of Tae Kwon Do.

Chinese practice!!

I made this boy-girl conversation on the fly. Using the Chinese I have learned thus far.

你好吗！
我很好。
那个男孩子是谁？
他是我弟弟。
你有姐姐吗？
我没姐姐。
请问，你做什么工作？
我是大学生。你呢？
我也是大学生。你多大？
二十一岁
你喜欢吃中国菜还是美国菜？
中国菜，美国菜我都喜欢。
好。今天晚上我请你吃饭，怎么样？
。。。你为什么请我吃饭？
因为我是你的朋友。。
好。可是我今天很忙。
明天忙不忙？
不忙。
。。。
是一点三刻。再见。
明天见！
再见。

Went back to my dojang to celebrate their 20th anniversary. Black belt alumni+current students represent!

やっと東アジア中間試験今日終わりました。。。３時間もかかった試験でした。まぁ、終わったよ。

ちょっとホットした。

今、ハワイのラヂオをききながらぼーっとしてます（笑）

水曜日の近代東アジア中間試験の勉強のプログレスは。。。まぁね。明日、クラスメートたちと一緒に一日勉強する予定です。今はあんまりできない気分だろうけど、ぜったいによくやる気持ちになっています。時刻は午前１２時半。もう火曜かぁ。今から勉強をつづけます。がんばります。ぜったいに上手くやるぞぉぉ！！！

必勝！！！

まぁ、まだ中間試験だからね。

Earlier today

水曜の近代東アジア中間試験の勉強。。。-_-
全くまだなにも勉強してない俺。あああもうやだぁー
机にはドリトス(笑)、教科書、そしてランダムな物が散らかっています。最近デブな物いっぱいたべて運動もあんまりしねーからちょっと太った感じがしますね。
では、勉強をどうにかします。

Played handball at the racquetball  courts in the gym in the late evening with one of my suite mates only to get kicked out minutes later. Thus we found a random wall and played there... until he clumsily hit the ball too far up. Just like that I lost this freakin blue handball.... ugh

Then we actually went to the supermarket because the suite needed handsoap. And I needed some snacks.

So lame lol

Before I lost it. The brick wall behind.