Sometimes the truth hurts.

I lack manliness, selflessness, and toughness.

"I guess you guys are just not in the right page yet," he said. "You both have different feelings, negative ones that you both just can't get off your backs yet."

"I don't know, maybe."

He took a sip of his coffee and touched the bridge of his glasses with his finger. "Or something else? Perhaps she wants to be free for once. Dye hair, smoke, drink, party like a rockstar, changing clothing style. I mean in college that's what typical students do and if she has a boyfriend who keeps watching her every move she'd feel trapped."

"Maybe," I said. "But it's also my fault. That's what led her to want something else. Sometimes I just wish I could rewind certain times in our relationship."

"You can't," he said, flat. "It's already done. Over. Nada."

"Of course, but I'm just saying."

I gazed at the sky and thought about it for a while. "I guess it's just something I can't get used to so easily. To me, the more people are close to me, the more I can't stand their disappearance from me. I never had a relationship that long, that lovely, that intimate. Before I met her, I wasn't a loner, but I mostly did everything by myself. I didn't have anyone to regard as a best friend, and nobody really cared. Everytime I came home from college I didn't have any particular friend to meet. And I finally met someone who I loved. She opened up my life, gave it some color and nuance. She helped me bring boredom to excitement, dullness to liveliness. We both helped each other. It was for happiness. I guess she was right. But when she left it dawned on me. I was back to being alone."

"Well people change," he said. "You just have to deal with it. Things like this are bound to happen. Just let it go. She's still your friend. And she's got your back, at least I hope."

I nodded.

"What was it like seeing her the other day?" he asked.

"She seemed desperate to leave," I said. "She didn't even want to see me in the first place anyway. We seemed like strangers to each other. She only looked at me occasionally and was expressionless the entire time."

"Do you think that helped you get over your relationship with her?"

"Not at all," I said. "The opposite. I want her to be happy and be the way she is. If she isn't then it makes me even sadder. It makes it seem like the Eve I knew slipped away somewhere and disappeared. Lost. I don't want that. I want her to be the bubbly, cheerful, and energetic person like she always was. I want the relationship to end smoothly and peacefully."

He nodded, scratching his beard. "What made you want to meet her?"

"Well we originally planned to meet that day, but when I told her on that day she said she couldn't. But I couldn't stand changing of plans last minute so I couldn't take that reason."

"In other words, an excuse," he said.

"Precisely," I said. "And also because I wanted to pass a gift to her, as her friend. Because that's what friends do. Give and take."

"What did you guys do?"

"We just ended up eating dumplings."

"That's it?"

"That's it."